pushing away

how many thoughts start just like this:
how many times will i do
something stupid
like this
how long before i die
how many times will i lie and say:
all is fine
i know i know i know i know i know if i
don't now
I never will

"HEY! do you wanna play?"

with me?
i'm the kind that's quick to slip away
even though i'd like to
i fight the urge and i
will never stay
there's a secret place
safely tucked away within
quiet and enticing
i could invite
but i.. i
dont think i want to
dont  think i want you

dont look
too close
i'm not all here
fading intwo
fading in too
into I
know i know i know i know i know
if i don't now
I never will


leave, here