sometimes i wonder
 when did everything start to go so fast?
these past few years have been a blur of
constant self-inflicted encirclement.
with people i'm not quite sure i like
because of the fears that i hold tight
with in my self.
they say: "it's ok when you're young, go crazy, have fun. i'ts a faze"
its a faze its a faze
... and
"there will be many mournings after all of this."

suppose, when you're young you're supposed to have fun?
i thought that i was
but instead
i was learning slowly
that
every interaction every word will come back
to haunt me.

they say it's ok
when you're young
go crazy
have fun
it's a faze, it's a faze, it's a faze
and there will be
many mournings after
all
of this
oh are there
many mornings after
(and what is this? love?)

as of late
i've been biding my time
and biting my tongue
i've been playing the silent judgement game
because it can be sooo much fun
we're all just waiting for the other one(s) to get done
i'm biding my time and i
i'm biting my tongue