T T Y Y T Y

the cycle
the downward spiral
you like falling, don't you?
you're addicted to
the only thing
you're good at handling

waste of ____?

She questions ____.
                      (time)
"Am I nothing but the opening and closing of doors?
A rug repeatedly walked upon, a slate wiped
clean of ____."

She questions (memory)
"I can not regret
past mistakes
nor can I ever apologize
instead I try to recognize ____."

She questions (truth)
"I've got lessons to learn
and questions kneading
to be answered
it is
time."

but still, she questions.

why not change?

this is the joy of being.
the beautiful question is why
and it will always be unanswered
draw comfort from this consistency.

oh no another title

I've been trying to replace
 the idea
of You
with
Others' empty hands.
at all or nothing, We were a choice.

I can feel It growing inside of me
the consequence(.,)

I'm not quite sure
(if)  i should

regretisawasteofmytimeRIGHT


instead,
i wonder

if 

i do not want my world
to end
at this lake's shore
so close
i  must want
the ocean

my day after i left

waiting for the bus.
watching my leg hair grow
thinking about studs and the adjustment to  my new-found femininity
wishing i wasn't going to where i had to

a cop.
stops.
reverses and starts talking to me.
WHAT NO I  AM NOT YOUR FRIEND MAYA

there's a man who reads death notices.
and a girl too young with babies.

the wheels on the bus go round and round.

walking through the better parts of town
to work
pisses me off, but it's such a nice day out

each day
I AM
one step closer
to the moment
where i will turn about
and be unable
to recognize
my surroundings

watching, listening

i look through windows on buses, in bars, at gas stations
when old enough i explored alone
i learned more on corners.
lean on lamps, poles, and glass
i instinctively knew how to hide in crowded places
there is no need for you to look back in rearview mirror
im not doing anything