model.

"I want you to lean forward with purpose! Become an age-less, time-less beauty, with a hunger for something more peering out from within, where there is almost too much truth!"
snap snap foot shiny sweat beads   
The bags under her eyes will be noticeable, in due time.

that one time...

while looking up
i realized
you are all talk
side glances
light caresses
while throwing up
fairy dust
to mask
half-truths
do you believe in me?
because i
I almost believed in You.

my stomach hurts

penned up and never finished.

a bird in an open cage


the sky is clear
Self is the only one
i seem to truly fear.

some say

my bluntness is endearing.
others say, my laughing eyes.

i kicked that old self out. beat her out of my chest like a thunderstorm gone amiss, that flooded the south leaving no survivor behind. one step at a time i am seeding out those who are bad for me. i do not want to take the time to help anyone grow. i grew alone. i do not want to be your peek into the dark side. i do not want to be the first misguiding step that helps you cross whatever lines you wish to. if that is what you are looking for, i can refer you to that old self. she now lives two blocks away.

stubborn.
tired.
alone. i do not wish to be claimed. i am alone. i wish. i am tired of. of accommodating.

we sit on the hill to watch the sun die, and the Moon rise.
in all Her glory,
i Could apologize.

interrupted

i lost my train of thought
One got a way
        out
the One that got
away.

you want one thing.
i envision another
creepers are stalking
peeking out from covers

forcing myself to talk
when i would rather have stayed
(w)ri(gh)ting wrongs

this could be our
the last breath

when drinking gives you confidence
that's what's wrong

out

and about
goodbye

im lost so what makes you think i got your back
i need out of this
i came
i left
i don't give a goddamn, god's damned. fuck.maybe i am a god.
some people are uptight. and some people need to
tighten up.
be(A)ware!
don't just touch..
why do  you ACT drunk?
you'sahbout to git yo ass popped, girl
u'sahawtmess
little kids act to fit

clothing as protection/chameleon

it was the night
im surrounded,
i came and left with
good company.
alone in the bathroom.
this persons hands around my neck,
trying
"girl whoever has been fucking you must be using a toothpick, you fucking pussy is tight"


if i say
any thing
they'll just laugh.
they all will just laugh

cause studs don't get sexually harassed, doll.

looking past and deeper

when i walk into a room, i seek out color. if i happen to walk into a "white" establishment, only then do i begin to feel alone and claustrophobic. but if i walk into a room where i see people of all different races mixed into a predominately white crowd, i take joy in every colored face i see and for every colored eye i meet. to be separatist out of hate is wrong, but to be separatist out of NEED TO FORM COMMUNITY then yes, go on my friend and look for and embrace those people that look like you. i can not say that i hate white people, but i will say that ignorance is the heaviest of fogs, the kind that makes is hard to breathe, see and hear. a fog that makes your friend walking alongside you disappear. its your choice whether or not the sun will be allowed to break through. you create your heaven and hell and i CHOOSE to have the sun in my world. i CHOOSE to see people as people. and i am not going to let you tell me that my "race" is going to stop me. from having a memorable and hopefully intelligent conversation at least once throughout my day or night. and when i run into someone that is lost in their fog, hopefully my words will have some meaning.

-L

waking up.

I was seeing 3: through, over and around.
I  can't remember before the life of Me, that world has always been a blur.

The first time I put them on I realized I had been missing out on so much. People had eye colors, not black holes. I began to recognize people by their faces, whereas before shadows, smells and voice dictated. People were no longer colors, but animated screens with wrinkles around eyes that lit up when smiling.

i stopped listening and stared
across the room
there's a perimeter of fuzz
surrounding this view that someone gave to me.
I wouldn't have known there was anything wrong, if someone hadn't told me there was a way.

She

back
backs away
from me.

"you are the kerosene, and i'm a burning match. We'll light up"

so...let us cast shadows on walls.

silence

"my answers have been haste.
and my memory, a bit hazy.
there has been too much done to excuse.
but I am sorry".

waking up. this mess. needs to be cleaned up.
(wash the walls, and paint your face.
washthewallsandpaintyourface.)

running away is not about the chase because NoOne is following you

how long are you going to just lie there
before you crawl?
and how many times will it take to realize
You has to catch you when you fall?

 lift your eyes

IT:

the moment that one knows. the feeling in one's stomach.  (I know that You know.)




Truth: I am a fool. What am I really pining for?

• A hand that longs to be held as much as mine? No. To be found out.